dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
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