I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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