Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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