I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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