Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
