I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize