im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize