did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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