Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize