is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You've changed since you got that strap on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
