worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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