I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
