Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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