Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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