guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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