New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
