Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
