Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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