you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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