I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
