Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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