I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
