My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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