I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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