he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
