Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize