Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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