This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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