She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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