why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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