I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
