Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
