i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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