You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
