so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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