I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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