We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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