hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
