Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Michael Bay diarrhea
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
