this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
