i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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