i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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