Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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