Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
