is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize