I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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