I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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