So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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