Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
