It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
