I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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