this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
