this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize