Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
NoShamevember. You game?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
