1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
