I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize