I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
