I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
