Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
