So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't tell me you're on acid again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
