The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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