Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
