i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize