You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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