i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize