Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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