i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
