The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize