All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
