Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
