I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
