who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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