So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Every concussion has its silver lining
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize