i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
