I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
