I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
