I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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