My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
